The Alien in the Garage and Other Stories Read online

  THE

  ALIEN

  IN THE

  GARAGE

  AND OTHER STORIES

  THE

  ALIEN

  IN THE

  GARAGE

  AND OTHER STORIES

  ROB KEELEY

  Copyright © 2011 Rob Keeley

  The moral right of the author has been asserted.

  Apart from any fair dealing for the purposes of research or private study,

  or criticism or review, as permitted under the Copyright, Designs and Patents

  Act 1988, this publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted, in

  any form or by any means, with the prior permission in writing of the publishers,

  or in the case of reprographic reproduction in accordance with

  the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency. Enquiries

  concerning reproduction outside those terms should be sent to the publishers.

  Matador

  5 Weir Road

  Kibworth Beauchamp

  Leicester LE8 0LQ, UK

  Tel: (+44) 116 279 2299

  Fax: (+44) 116 279 2277

  Email: [email protected]

  Web: www.troubador.co.uk/matador

  ISBN 978 1848765 795

  British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data.

  A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  Typeset in 11pt Book Antiqua by Troubador Publishing Ltd, Leicester, UK

  Matador is an imprint of Troubador Publishing Ltd

  Contents

  Copyright

  Dedication

  The Alien in the Garage

  The Secret

  The Battle of the Bulge

  Homework

  Remote Control

  Swap You

  Lunch

  Wish I Was There

  The Tent

  For Mum and Dad

  The Alien in the Garage

  “Neil!”

  Neil groaned as he heard the loud, shrill voice.

  The living room door opened. Jamie’s round, freckled face appeared.

  “Where’s the biscuits?”

  “The tin’s on the top shelf.” Neil struggled to balance the guitar he was holding, trying to find a comfortable position on the sofa. “Where it always is.”

  “I can’t reach it!” Jamie whined.

  Neil rolled his eyes. He put the guitar down.

  “I’m trying to practise, Jamie!” He got up and followed his little brother into the kitchen. “What do you want them for, anyway? Mum’s going to be home soon, we’re going to have our tea.”

  He moved to the shelves.

  “I want them for the alien!”

  Neil stopped suddenly. He stared at Jamie.

  “You what?”

  “The alien!” Jamie repeated determinedly. “The alien in the garage.”

  “The alien.” Annoyed as he was to be interrupted, Neil felt the corner of his mouth begin to twitch. “There’s an alien. In our garage?”

  “Yeah!” Jamie’s face set in a frown, as if it were obvious. “He’s waiting for a spaceship to pick him up.”

  Neil was definitely smirking now.

  “And he wants custard creams?” He reached up for the biscuit tin.

  “He’s hungry!” Jamie insisted.

  “OK.” Neil handed the tin to Jamie with a grin. “So we’ve got an alien out there now? The dragon’s gone, has he?”

  “The dragon was weeks ago!” Jamie took the tin firmly. “I’ve been looking after the alien all week.”

  “Go on then, mate.” Neil ruffled Jamie’s hair, knowing his brother hated it when people did that. “Take the alien his biscuits.”

  “Ta.” Jamie opened the back door and disappeared.

  Smiling to himself, Neil returned to the living room.

  Jamie was getting worse. The dragon had only been the last. A month ago, Jamie had said there was a spaceman in hiswardrobe. Then there had been the fairy princess at the bottom of the garden. And last Christmas, Santa Claus had gotstuck on the roof.

  What was it with kids now? Neil was sure he hadn’t been like that.

  Anyway.

  Neil took up the guitar again and began.

  Two chords later, the door reopened.

  “Neil!”

  “What.” Neil turned to Jamie, tight-lipped.

  “Can I have some cushions?”

  “Cushions?” repeated Neil.

  “For the alien!” Jamie asked. “I’ve only got that old armchair out there. It’d be so much more comfy for him.”

  “For Pete’s sake!” Neil grabbed two cushions from the other end of the sofa and hurled them at Jamie. “I’ve got to learn this piece, Jamie! I’m getting tested tonight. I can’t go on playing the same five chords forever.”

  “He’s got to get some sleep,” Jamie protested. “He’s got a long journey later.”

  “On the spaceship?” Neil asked wearily.

  Jamie nodded solemnly.

  “His planet’s light years away from Earth.”

  “Go on.” Neil grabbed another cushion from the adjacent chair and chucked it at his brother. “Get back to him. It. Whatever. And let me get on!”

  “Ta.” Half-hidden behind the pile, Jamie hurried back to the door and was gone.

  Neil shook his head.

  Soon, Jamie would have enough furniture out there to set up house on his own.

  It wasn’t that Neil minded his little brother building a den. In fact, Neil remembered, he’d had one himself a few years ago. Since they’d got rid of the car, the garage had only been used for storage, and it had a window, and another exit out of the back that was never locked, in the daytime. It was a perfectly safe place for Jamie to play.

  But why did Jamie have to fill it with all these crazy made-up creatures?

  It wouldn’t have been so bad if he didn’t use them as an excuse to get whatever he wanted out there. On his birthday, he’d asked for a TV/DVD player, so he could watch telly in the garage with the dragon. And he’d been given one. Now, he wanted the whole tin of biscuits, and half the living room cushions, for an alien.

  At least the alien was leaving tonight.

  Neil shuddered suddenly. What alien?

  He was getting as bad as Jamie.

  Trying to get aliens out of his head, he returned to guitar practice

  E minor. OK.

  He plucked a chord.

  “NEIL!”

  Neil shot to his feet with an exclamation a lot worse than “For Pete’s sake!” The guitar went flying and hit the floor with a loud clonk!

  “That’s rude,” said Jamie. “Can I borrow your Space Exploration DVD? I thought it might be useful for him. And I’ll take some magazines.”

  “Right!” Neil leapt for the coffee table, grabbed every magazine in sight and started to bombard his little brother with them.

  “I thought he could learn something about Earth from them,” Jamie explained. “And if I can have the TV paper, we can see what’s on…”

  “Oh, shut up, will you!” Neil glowered at Jamie. “Look, Jamie, we all know you’ve got a den out there! You don’t need to make up all these stories!”

  “What stories?” Jamie looked hurt.

  “Oh, go on.” Neil picked up his guitar and sat down. “Go on. Get out. And just… leave it for a bit, will you? Give me a break.”

  Quietly, Jamie left the room. His eyes looked big and sad.

  Neil sat down again, and took a long, deep breath.

  He felt rotten now. But Jamie really could drive you round the bend at times.

  He returned,
as best he could, to his music.

  Aliens! Honestly.

  Carrying the magazines carefully, Jamie walked up the little path from the back door, and opened the rear door of the garage.

  The alien was inside, with his feet up on the table, on a cushion, on a pile of boxes, and on another old chair. Four pairs of feet in total. He had a custard cream in one hand, a can of orangeade in the other, and a street map in the other. One of his heads was reading the street map, and the other was watching Jamie’s television.

  He sat there, a magnificent creature in dark purple, his eight legs half-filling the small garage. He looked, to Jamie, like a cross between a tarantula and a gigantic plum.

  Both heads and all four mouths smiled at Jamie as he entered.

  “Weghfyytyfhfhfsijjgiorjiogjjgfijgijgijgirjigjrijgiirjgi jrigjijigjierjg…”

  “I can’t understand you.” Jamie put the magazines down on an old coffee table that stood in front of the alien’s battered armchair. “Can you put the translator thingie on again please?”

  The alien put the street map down, and reached for a nodule on one of his necks. He gave it a tweak.

  “Sorry, mate,” said the first mouth. “I forgot to readjust to Earth language, like. Know what I mean?”

  “I got you the magazines,” Jamie said. “I couldn’t get the DVD, sorry, it’s in my brother’s room. He’s OK. He just doesn’t understand about you.”

  “Not many would, like,” the alien answered. “That’s why I was glad to meet you, mate.”

  “Good job you crashed in our back garden,” Jamie went on. “And good job the dragon had already gone. Else you’d have had to sleep in the shed instead. And it’s so cold out there.”

  “You were cool.” The alien gave Jamie four grins.

  “What did you do with the escape pod, by the way?” Jamie asked.

  In answer, the alien held up a small, plastic ball.

  “I used the miniaturisation function. It can’t be used for space travel again, like.” He held it out in his third hand to Jamie. “I thought you might like it as a goodbye present.”

  “Ooh, thanks.” Jamie took it smilingly. “It’ll do to keep my pencil sharpener in. For school.”

  “I’ll be out of your hair by midnight,” the alien continued. “The mothership’s going to pick me up outside the greengrocer’s.”

  “That’s not far.” Jamie nodded.

  “All I need to do is teleport over there,” the alien finished. “And I’ve got the energy to do that now. Thanks to you.”

  He popped the last of the custard cream into his third mouth, and his fourth finished the orangeade.

  “Your Earth foods are so good.”

  “Soon be goodbye, then,” Jamie said, sadly. He went over to the alien and they put all their arms round each other.

  “I’ll call again,” the alien said. “And maybe bring one of my mates. This is such a cool planet. Even if you do all look kind of strange.”

  Five minutes later, Neil and Jamie’s Mum arrived home. And fifteen minutes after that, she had the boys’ tea ready.

  “Don’t forget your guitar lesson,” she told Neil.

  “I’ve been practising.” Neil pulled a face. “Think I’m getting the hang of it now.”

  “And what have you been up to?” Mum placed a plate of pasta bake before Jamie.

  “Oh, he’s been out in the garage.” The smirk returned to Neil’s face. “Visiting the alien.”

  “Oh, I heard about him.” Mum smiled. “Does the alien want some tea, as well, then?” she asked Jamie.

  Jamie shook his head.

  “No, thank you. He only needs one meal a day.”

  “He likes the odd biscuit, though,” Neil added.

  “Now, that’ll do,” Mum said. “Stop teasing your brother.”

  “He’s going tonight,” Jamie said. “I’m going to miss him. I’ll be in bed when he leaves.”

  “Oh, dear.” Mum smiled.

  “Who’s coming next then?” Neil asked, grinning.

  “I don’t know.” Jamie frowned. “I got a call from a magic rabbit… but then I’ve got the unicorn to fit in. I’ll have to thinkabout it.”

  He took a thoughtful mouthful of pasta.

  “That’s the trouble, you see. With having so many friends.”

  The Secret

  I’ve got a secret.

  I didn’t have, this morning. But I do now.

  It’s a big secret. One that no one else knows.

  It’s a secret about Lauren.

  I heard it at lunchtime, from Danny. And he swore me to complete secrecy.

  So don’t say anything.

  It’s definitely true. Danny heard it straight from James, in his maths group. And James heard it straight from Jessica and Amy. He met them in the yard at break. And Jessica and Amy got it straight from Rebecca, who heard it from Charlotte, who lives in the same road as Sophie, who’s Lauren’s best friend. So it must be true.

  But don’t say anything.

  I don’t spread secrets round, of course. Once you tell me something, it goes no further. You could trust me with anything. I knew about Amy’s pierced ears before anyone else, because I heard it from her cousin. I knew who was going to be in the football team for the Churchwood match, long before they put the notice up. And I knew when Miss Boyd was getting married. Well, I was passing the staff room and it’s not my fault if they leave the door open. But I didn’t tell anyone. No one heard any of it from me.

  So say nothing.

  Lots of people could have secrets, if you stop to think about it. And no one might ever know about them. You see people going into school every morning, and, from their faces, you might think everything was OK. But you can’t really know, can you, everything that goes on in their lives? In their homes, their families? Or anywhere else, apart from school? They could be doing anything, after the bell. Or in the mornings, before school starts. Or at weekends. And, if they didn’t tell anyone, or if no one found out, then no one would know. Anyone you meet, in class, or in the yard, or on the playing field, could have a secret.

  But I bet no one has a secret quite like Lauren’s.

  It’s something that Lauren wouldn’t want anyone to know. She only heard the news herself a few days ago. At first, no one knew outside her house. Her Mum and Dad know, of course. Well, they would, wouldn’t they? And her big sister still lives at home, so she knows too. There are just the four of them at home. Plus the dog, of course. But I don’t suppose the dog knows. At least, if it does, it probably won’t tell anyone.

  Don’t you say anything to anyone, will you?

  Lauren’s very excited about it. And she would be, wouldn’t she? It’s not the sort of thing that happens to everyone. I don’t think it’s ever happened to anyone in our school before. Or likely to again, for a good long time. Sophie was very excited too. Well, she would be, as Lauren’s her best friend. And Charlotte was excited as well, when she heard the news. And Rebecca, even though she doesn’t really know Lauren that well. And when she told Jessica and Amy, they were very excited. And James, when he heard about it from them at break- time. And I suppose Danny was excited, since he told me in the dinner queue. Difficult to tell though, with Danny. He doesn’t show his feelings much.

  Don’t say a word, will you?

  I suppose a lot of people will know before very long. After all, it’s not the sort of thing that often happens to people, even in a big town like this. That’s why everyone was so excited. It could be in the newspapers. The local ones at least. And on the local news. Maybe the TV cameras will come to school. It’s time they did. They haven’t been since that politician came to visit. You remember, when I represented our year group, and we stood in the hall for two hours waiting for him to arrive, and when he did, he only had time for a quick look at my fantastic article that went up on the wall, before he shot off again to visit somewhere else. And then the story got cut, and I didn’t even get to be on the telly.

  This is at l
east as important as that. And so Lauren could be on the telly. And if the cameras and reporters do come to school, maybe we can be on the telly too. And everyone will know that we’re Lauren’s friends. Or if we’re not, then it’s time we started. Before long, everyone could know Lauren’s secret.

  But the point of a secret is that it should stay a secret. Isn’t it? It should be a secret until Lauren wants everyone to know. That’s why she only told Sophie. And why Sophie only told Charlotte. And why Charlotte only told Rebecca. And why Rebecca only told Jessica and Amy, and…well, you know the rest.

  So don’t say I said anything, will you?

  I’d love to do what Lauren’s going to do. It’ll be so good. More fun than anything that happens around here. I don’t do anything like that. I just do the football team and the Chess club. And that’s not what it was, since they moved it to after school on Thursdays. And outside school, I’ve got trumpet, and judo. And that’s it.

  Lauren’s going to have some real fun. She could be famous, before long. We could all be asking for her autograph. And she’ll be earning money as well. Far more than I’ll ever earn. And she’ll get to know some really cool people.

  But she’ll still have to pass her exams.

  I hope it doesn’t change her too much.

  Don’t tell anyone I spoke to you, will you?

  Well, that’s it. That’s my bus stop. I’d better go. Got homework to do. I haven’t got far to walk, just to the end of the road, and then…

  Oh, what d’you say? Sorry?

  I haven’t told you what it is yet? What what is?

  Oh, the secret?

  Lauren’s secret?

  You want to know what the secret is?

  Sorry…afraid I can’t tell you that.

  It’s a secret.

  The Battle of the Bulge

  Juniper Class all saw it, that Tuesday morning.

  It wasn’t something they were likely to have missed.